he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Mom said you looked used
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
