That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
