After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
