Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
