P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
pray to the hookup gods
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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