doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
