I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
