dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize