Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
you never un-have a 4some
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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