You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
