Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
