I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
