You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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