tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
