shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
