She said her name was "party"
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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