I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
