my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
