If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
