The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
