did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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