It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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