I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
