yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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