The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize