I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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