did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
