woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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