do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
