you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
