This is not my ceiling
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
