hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
