i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
