weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
