apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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