Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
