I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
