What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
