last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
