You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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