There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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