All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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