I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
