i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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