so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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