I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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