I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
