I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
