you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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