why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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