If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
