dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize