Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
and she was petting her beer can
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i think my cat just said my name.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
