Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize