My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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