didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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