I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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