I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
