Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
